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There is no force in this world more malevolent than gnomes that can so effectively strike fear, disgust, and hatred into the heart of any decent human being. Those of weak constitution might be shocked by the contents of this book, and some might believe that such a game should not be available to children for purchase, lecture, or especially play. Despite what we've been told, gnomes are not cute or cuddly. This pro-gnomish propaganda is meant to lure unsuspecting young innocents to their doom! In light of that, this book is no mere game. It is a low-cost investment that can truly save your life.
GnomeMurdered is a game that is hopefully entertaining in the same way that telling scary stories, reading horror novels, or watching scary movies can be entertaining. But GnomeMurdered is also meant to be informative, spreading the truth about those vile little beasts.
Above all, GnomeMurdered is an avant-garde, rules-lite game meant to be truly innovative in a way no game has ever been before. The actual required rules encompass less than a page, but the myriad of options allow you to think outside the box. For instance, who needs dice -- use a coin, playing cards, physical contest, mental contest, narrative, or therapy in their stead. Scale the game with 4 levels of power. Learn how the gnomes think and plan their attacks by incorporating their styles of assassination, objects that can be looted from them, and the most-dreaded mutations that plague men who get too close. Round that out with 5 ready-to-play scenarios and don't forget about the The Great GnomeMurdered Flowchart.
All incidents, situations, and persons portrayed within this book are fiction, and any similarities without satirical intent are strictly coincidental. This excludes gnomes; they are real and a serious threat.